Wierdos need not apply
Regardless of how early I have to get up, I always stay up too late.
It’s the only time I have to truly face my thoughts.
“What doesn’t kill you.”
I can’t keep track of anything except the days since my brothers been gone.
I can’t get a break.
I am working, making descent money, and it’s miserable.
I am begging for something to give way, but I know that the only thing that can save me is my music. I just want the embrace of playing music full time again.
I am ready to re-locate, and live in a van again.
I need my passion and love to come save me.
I will cut my hair short. Trust me, I will.
I will let my beard go. Trust me, I will.
I will never tempt fate, not once, I swear.
I will never trust ice.
I will never trust a thing.
Today marks two months.
Notice I have less and less to say.
The poetry is out. The romanticism in loss and death is gone.
I feel full of hate, and I want everything to fail.
I don’t even care if I fall too.
This still continues to get harder.
I am swarmed by a nightmare.
I fucking hate everything, and I do lash out all the time.
I am so sorry you felt anything near to this, but I want to be such a selfish person and keep you here for me. These are the words of a fool, there is nothing I can do.
I am so afraid, even though it’s over.
I am so scared of losing whats long gone.
The plot was a body, and you fell back to the grave.
Air was forced into you, but you wouldn’t take it.
You couldn’t just fucking do this for me.
I can remember that lifeless little tremble; Your body shook in such a way during resuscitation. Your blood was drying, you were already gone.
We cleaned you up, and laid you down. I say goodbye all the time.
This is the first time I have truely had to miss someone I loved, knowing they aren’t going to come back. I am the one who leaves, and goes missing, not you.
Every night I try to lay as close to you as I can, but its never enough. the fear keeps me here, and im still waiting for you. The truth scares me to death.
I wait knowing you will never come back.